


The perception of magnetism

by energizebitches



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hurt Spock (Star Trek), M/M, Mind Meld, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Smut, Vulcan Mind Melds, spirk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 17:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13058460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/energizebitches/pseuds/energizebitches
Summary: After an unexpected injury to the head, Spock's usually faultless physical control is compromised. Jim finds it becoming harder and harder to contain his feelings.





	1. Anchiale-7

**Author's Note:**

> Anchiale-7: I took Anchiale from Greek mythology, she seems from my research to be a Goddess or nymph of the warming heat of fire- which I thought to be very apt for the heat induced barren surface of the planet. The number 7 I took from its properties as the most magical number (according to Voldemort anyway).
> 
> This is my first fic in about 10 years, and my first Spirk fic. I hope you enjoy!  
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Star Trek.

It was a routine scouting expedition. The landing party had consisted of only 5 personnel, Mr Sulu, Yeoman Rand, Doctor McCoy, Mr Spock and the Captain himself. Jim hadn’t expected anything out of the ordinary, given that this was a standard class-M planet, scarcely populated save one or two settlements further in-land from their current position, where the terrain was much more forgiving and fertile. They had been sent here to take samples of the soil and vegetation, or what little vegetation could be found on the outskirts of the valleys that housed said settlements.  
Outside of these concentrated populated areas was what could only be described as a wasteland. The earth itself took on a rust coloured hue, the air was dry and prickled at the face and the unforgiving rays of their startlingly yellow sun beat down upon them all. It was your classic barren desert, the only crewman who seemed adept to handle such environmental extremes was Mr Spock, who was in his element. Indeed, Jim could’ve sworn he almost saw a hint of smile on those Vulcan lips when the elegant face turned towards the sun.  
The only features that broke up the monotony of the heat-cracked earth beneath their feet were the abundance of would-be hills and mounds of earth that built up all around them, dry and withering, they were all but heaps of rocks. The settlements were looking to expand to populate more of the planet, Anchiale-7, and so the Enterprise had been given the unenviable task of collecting samples in the hope that they could identify another potentially fertile and hospitable region.

This was the last of their 5-day assignment, and the party of crewmen that had been planetside had already begun beaming back aboard. Kirk, McCoy and Spock had delayed their return after Spock had expressed a scientific interest in a particular rock a little way up the closest mound.

‘Captain, If I may, I believe it would be highly beneficial to collect samples from one of the larger mineral compounds from the lower summit of this hill.’

‘That’s some cheap excuse for a hill if ever I saw one’ McCoy chimed in, looking around with distaste. His physical discomfort at being in such a dry and sterile environment had been apparent from his first beam down 2 days before, Leonard was a man of life and energy and Jim knew that being surrounded by such an unwelcoming atmosphere went against his very nature.

‘Be that as it may Doctor, this could further our understanding of the planet’s geological and agricultural possibilities.’

‘Yes, Mr Spock I quite agree, Bones and I will wait for you here; I’ll hail the ship and inform them of our impending arrival’.

With a respectful nod Spock began walking towards the hill, advancing up its crude slope with grace and ease; his long legs and spry physicality presenting themselves in a most effortless manner. Kirk couldn’t help but admire his first officer as he pulled out his communicator and turned to face Bones,

‘This is Kirk to Enterprise, come in Enterprise’

‘Lieutenant Uhura here sir’,

‘Yes Lieutenant, inform the transporter room that we will be ready to beam up within the next few minutes, have them stand by to beam us aboard.’

‘Of course Sir.’

‘Thank-you Lieutenant, Kirk ou-‘

‘SPOCK!!’ Bones had twisted on his feet and begun racing towards the hill, Kirk turned just in time to see a blue blur fall about 10 feet and land in a chasm between the nearest mounds. He tore across the soil and found Bones kneeling next to his first officer. His bloody and bruised first officer. Spock was lying on his back with his limbs resting haphazardly around him, his uniform was torn around the collar and over his abdomen, exposing the Vulcans grazed skin, the dark flushes of blue-green bruises already forming. Kirk could see the discomfort in his stance as he moved against the gravel bank. His head had been pulled into Bones lap while he examined the damage- which seemed to primarily be atop his head. Rivulets of a thick green liquid were trickling down Spocks face, his hair was matted with it, his eyes were open, just barely. Jim knew that head wounds often looked a lot worse than they actually were, but he couldn’t fight the way his stomach twisted and his chest went tight watching his friend struggle to keep conscious. 

‘Jim we have to get him to sick bay now, I know our Vulcan’s got a thick skull but I’ll be damned if I let him bleed to death on my watch’. Bones hauled Spock to his feet, where he wavered dangerously against the Doctors side before Jim grabbed his torso, supporting him with one arm and shoulder while pulling out his communicator with his right hand, 

‘Kirk to Enterprise, beam us up now, Spock is injured’, he heard the words coming out of his own mouth, knew they sounded calm and collected, but from the look Bones was giving him he knew the blood must’ve been draining from his own face. He hadn’t revealed to Bones the depth of his friendship and feelings for Spock, but Bones had a way of just knowing, staring into your soul like he could read your darkest secrets. Jim knew Bones was worried for him too, if anything happened to Spock, regardless of whether McCoy knew his secret, he’d be losing his best friend, he’d fall apart. Kirk tore himself away from the thought as he felt the familiar pull in the base of his skull, "please Spock", he willed the thought into his friends’ perceptive mind, "please hold on".  
He could’ve sworn he saw something flash in those hazy brown eyes before they fluttered closed, and Jim felt himself fall away.


	2. Sick Bay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sick bay.

They materialized on the transporter platform and from there Jim felt numb. Bones and 2 security crewmen lifted Spocks unconscious body from his arms and carried him away to sick bay. Spocks head rolled back and fell awkwardly as the men jostled him. Jim was stung with how wrong it looked, the strong figure he knew so well was gone, he watched as they carried him down the hall and one of those elegant arms lolled and hung limply. Jim supressed a flinch.

Jim was running on autopilot, nodding to the ensign who had control of the transporter as he walked out of the room towards… towards… he had no idea where he was going. In light of what had happened he wouldn’t be expected back on the bridge at least until the next morning’s Alpha shift, Bones would undoubtedly sign him off until then, and he’d left Scotty in charge of the conn when he’d left the ship for the scouting party.

He’d resigned himself to heading for his quarters, knowing that Bones wouldn’t want extra bodies in sick bay when he had an emergency on his hands, but he couldn’t shake the tightness in his chest, breathing was hard, and he felt as if he was walking alongside his body rather than within it. He was in shock. Something told him to go to Spocks side or he’d never have peace. Hell, Bones would need some company after he’d treated Spocks injuries. Although Bones and Spock had their squabbles and differences, each of them knew how deep their friendship and respect for each other ran. Bones would be running on auto-pilot too and once his hands had done their work and all there was left to do was wait, he’d need someone to share a whisky with, he and Jim needed to be there for each other now.

Jim heading towards sick bay, walking but not seeing, he was dimly aware of nodding politely to various crewmen as they walked by, however all he could think about was the look in Spocks eyes just before the transporter had energized.

He walked into sickbay to what looked like the tail end of the storm, nurse Chapel was gathering the medical supplies out of the way whilst McCoy seemed to be wrapping Spocks head with some sort of gauze, she glanced to Jim with a slight incline of her head, her brow furrowed in worry for Spocks wellbeing. Bones looked to Jim as he entered with a nod and a look of relief, Jim knew then that Spock would be alright, the worst was over.

‘Jim,’ Bones started, ‘he’s out of trouble for now, we’ve stopped the bleeding and closed the wound, but somethings off.’ Spock seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness, occasionally wincing in obvious pain and clenching his fists around the edges of the biobed. His iron willed vulcan controls had clearly been lost as the metal that supported the mattress warped beneath his fingers. ‘He’s in pain, I’ve administered a strong pain relief but its seems to be taking longer than usual to work, damn Vulcan physiology, and I need to run some tests, to make sure there’s no lasting damage. I’ll go grab my scanner’.

Jim stepped up close to his friend as Bones disappeared into his office, they were alone for now. Spock’s eyes opened in a brief spout of consciousness, 

‘Ji…’ he flinched, Jim rushed forwards to take hold of his friends’ shoulders, but Spock strained his torso closer to Jim’s, his right hand raised up to touch his face. His eyes fell shut and blindly he groped for Jim’s psi points, knowing them from instinct and experience. Jim felt the weak tether of a meld, the fear he felt at its fragility only further constricting his chest; the times they had melded before it had been so clear, so strong, a bridge Jim could easily have bounded across into Spocks own consciousness. Now it felt like creeping over a thin film of ice.

Jim was immediately aware of a sharp pain in the back of his head, throbbing with his every heartbeat; which had quickened to an inhuman pace. He was also consumed with a strong wave of dizziness. No, not dizziness, but something else. He could feel his own face beneath his fingers, his breath ghosting across his face, the warmth of his presence soothing his agony. Inexplicably the feeling dissipated, the captain was across the room from Spock. He was immediately aware of the loss of that warmth. 

Jim was swallowed by fear, 

“I’m alone. Please, no. Jim. Come back. JIM”. 

His captain had abandoned him, his was alone in this pain. Confusion enveloped Jims senses and he snapped his eyes shut.

“Spock I’m here” he breathed across the bond, he tried to bellow it out, but the air had escaped his lungs, it was as if he couldn’t fill them enough to speak. He didn’t understand, Spock was touching him, he was right in front of him, they were melded, how could Spock think he was on the other side of the room?

‘Spock, Jim, are you alright?? Nurse get in here NOW,’ Bones pulled him back from Spocks touch, both men were breathing hard, Jim having suffered through Spocks pain and emotional trauma alongside him. ‘Nurse I need another hypo of pain relief, Spocks metabolism is burning through that first dose like it’s nothing.’  
Jim blinked the tears out of his eyes and turned away from Bones and the biobed, ‘I’m fine Bones, see to Spock, I don’t know what’s wrong with him, he’s... he’s not seeing things right. Not feeling things right.’

Usually this would be where Bones would make a sharp quip about Spock not having any emotions to speak of, however this time he simply gave Jim an almost imperceptible nod and leant over his patient. He passed his sensor over his head and body whilst nurse Chapel rushed over and administered another hypo into Spocks neck, soothing him with soft words into lying flat against the bed. Jim turned a fraction to watch Spocks body slowly still and relax, along with his strained facial muscles, as he fell into a deep sleep.


	3. Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McCoy finally divulges Spock's diagnosis.

It wasn’t until the end of alpha shift the next day that Jim was able to go to sick bay to see Spock, he had of course been sent constant updates on his condition over the course of the night and early morning by Bones and the sick bay staff, but Bones’ most recent message had instilled in Jim a feeling of uneasiness. It had simply said,

[Jim, Spock is in a stable condition, however we’ve received some highly unusual results from the scans, it’ll be easier to explain in person. Get down here as soon as you can.]

Running on roughly 3 hours of disturbed sleep, due to his anxiety over the condition of his first officer and best friend, he had been glad that the mornings shift turned out to be highly uneventful. They were still in orbit of Anchiale-7 and the results from the tests on the various samples of vegetation and terrain were yet to be completed. They were expected to report to the planets’ governing bodies and relay the information to Starfleet command within the next 2 days, which was more than sufficient time for the superb science officers aboard the fleets finest ship to complete their work. Jim was endlessly proud of his crew and was thankful for their steadfastness and resolve having been briefed on the condition of their much respected first officer. Jim had a deep reverence and affection for Spock and his unique traits; his unwavering loyalty in the field- he always had Jim’s back and protected him fiercely as Jim did in return. His keen mind- always one step ahead and unrivalled in its brilliance, and most of all the subtle nuances of his personality that only Jim seemed to be fully able to read. Jim had struggled with his regard for Spock for some months, knowing that it had grown much stronger than a friendship. When he realised the depth of his feelings; how his pulse quickened whenever Spock entered the bridge, how he would try diligently at every opportunity that presented itself to amuse his first officer, and how often he found his eyes wandering over the tall, slender man; he finally acquiesced to his inner turmoil and accepted the clear and blinding truth. He was in love with Spock. It was his stoic certainty that Spock, a logically minded man, would not return his feelings that left Kirk trying and failing to repress these desires for a deeper connection.

At the first possible opportunity Jim passed command of the conn to Sulu and made a beeline for sick bay. Spock was the only patient, and Jim saw McCoy conversing with him softly. He felt a wave of relief course through him as he took in the look of cognizance on Spocks face, he was out of danger it seemed- though McCoy’s message suggested otherwise.

‘Spock,’ Jim hurried to his friends’ bedside, his classic warm grin on his face, which served to stoke the fire in Spocks own being into a calm contentment. Jim laid his hand on Spocks shoulder, ‘glad to see you’re awake! You gave us quite the scare there’. Jim couldn’t hide his happiness, his joy spreading into his eyes and throughout his whole body, he was sure McCoy raised an eyebrow at him subtly. 

‘Thankyou Jim,’ Spocks eyes shined at him, ‘though I must confess I am in some pain, however the good doctors’ medical prowess is aiding in my endurance of it. He has explained to me the strange phenomenon that I believe you suffered with me in my unchecked state last night’. Jim saw the miniscule tells in Spocks face and body language as he spoke these words. The minute flinch of embarrassment in having shown weakness the night before, and his guilt in having caused Jim pain. 

‘Spock, don’t think on it, your wellbeing is all that matters here. Bones, what “strange phenomenon” is he talking about?’, Spock was suddenly staring very hard at Jims hand on his shoulder, his eyes somewhat unfocused and the familiar strain in his eyes from forcing his control over an emotion or sensation he was feeling. ‘Spock. What is it?’.

‘I believe I am experiencing some side effects of my injury presently’ his eyes ran the length of Jim’s arm slowly, he raised his left hand to touch it but it fell short by about 5 inches, instead leaving Spocks fingertips to clutch at the air feebly.

‘Jim, Spock has sustained a sizeable head injury, he informed me that while he was up on that overgrown ant hill that boulder he liked so much decided to dislodge itself and catch him unawares. It hit him square on the back of his head and that’s when I saw him, just before he fell. Now, there’s no permanent damage, however Spock’s brain has sustained some injury. He has some severe bruising to his parietal lobe. The section of the brain that controls bodily awareness; and processes spatial orientation.’

“That sounds about right” Jim thought to himself, recalling the strange phenomena he had endured when melded with Spock, the sudden feeling of distance between them and the resulting anxiety and panic in the aftershock of his friends’ injury. 

‘So, this means that Spocks sense of distance from people and objects is going to be compromised for approximately 10 solar days. In a human the recovery time would be a few months at least, but given the telepathic abilities of the Vulcan race, their brains are a much more used and therefore more developed muscle than ours, it can endure more trauma with a lot less damage and a much shorter healing time. It’s very likely that he will conduct himself physically a little differently than usual when he experiences an episode, however we have no way to anticipate or predict them. All we can do for now is provide him with pain relief, last night his body was burning through my hypos at an alarming rate due to the increased amount of adrenaline that was being pumped around his body. Given that the worst is over the current dosage should be fine. The bruising on his brain will gradually heal and so his spatial perception will improve daily. He should be fit for duty on the bridge however with a reduced workload, it’s important we keep his brain stimulated in order to encourage healing, however we don’t want to overdo it’.

‘Doctor, I assure you,’ Spock had turned his eyes on McCoy now, their focus seeming to have returned to normal, ‘these episodes are little more than an inconvenience, I will be more than capable of maintaining my curren…’ 

‘Spock, you’re lucky if I let you back on the bridge at all, now listen to the good doctor and your captain.’ Jim removed his hand from his friends’ shoulder as his said this, to further enforce his earnestness. Spock nodded to his friend, conceding to his concern. 

‘I recommend the rest of the day in sick bay for rest, and a full briefing for the senior bridge crew of the first officers’ current situation. I’ll sign off on his return to duty with a reduced workload from alpha shift tomorrow, however, if we can keep his shifts scheduled to coincide only with the senior crew Jim, I think it’ll be a lot easier on Spock and the rest of the ship,’ he smirked, ‘we don’t want our Vulcan here knocking into the bulkhead and leaving a dent now do we?’.

Spock quirked a brow at this statement, before shifting into a supine position, ‘if you please gentlemen, the brain repairs itself quicker when the body is in a sleeping state, I will take the doctors’ advice and rest. Captain, I assure you I will be in peak condition for alpha shift tomorrow’.

‘Of course you will Mr Spock’, Jim smiled softly at Bones as he turned to leave, ‘see you after shift Bones for a drink?’,

‘Good lord yes, I’m gonna need one after having this one as a patient for the last 48 hours’.

Jim headed back to the bridge feeling a little lighter, how was he going to explain Spocks unusual predicament to the bridge crew?


	4. Jim's musings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim considers the finer points of his dear first officer.

It had proved easier than Jim expected to explain to Uhura, Rand, Chekov, Sulu and Scotty Spocks ailment, in fact it had been a rather comical conversation. Chekov and Sulu and been enthusiastically musing of the possibilities of pranking their superior officer, with Uhura and Rand shooting them scolding looks while struggling to supress a smirk. Scotty, ever the professional, nodded politely during Jim's recounting of the incident, though Jim heard more than saw him shake on a bet with Sulu of 50 credits that Spock would do some serious damage to his own station before the week was out. 

The whisky Jim had shared with Leonard that evening went down incredibly smoothly, and they stayed in Bones' office for perhaps a few hours more than planned as they let off steam and joked into the night after such a stressful 48 hours. Falling into the turbolift together with smiles on their lips and arms around each other's shoulders, Jim clapped Bones on the back as he left him to fall down the corridor to his own quarters as his door slid open to admit its captain.

Shedding his uniform in a haphazard fashion in his run up to his bed, Jim took a deep breath and revelled in the sensation of filling his lungs as he fell back upon his duvet. With Spock out of danger he felt that he could breathe fully again, whereas before despite his best efforts he couldn't seem to take a full breath, it had been as though there a was a perpetual weight upon his chest. Images of Spock in the moments after his fall played in Jim's mind, the stark contrast of the darkness of his blood as it slid down over his pale face, the pain that had twisted his features; it made Jim blanche to recall it. He hastened to replace the thoughts with those of his joy at seeing Spock conscious in sickbay. The colour returned to his face and the smile in his eyes as Jim had touched his shoulder. In that moment Jim had let his feelings for Spock envelop him, feeling its warmth spread throughout his body- lighting him up, tracing down his fingertips. 

He had wanted Spock for so long. At first, what had been a solid and fierce friendship would unexpectedly surprise him with intimate moments, physical touches which would shock the breath out of him and that he would find himself inexplicably obsessing over for days afterwards. These had led him to consider the physicality of his first officer, his elegant facial features, warm brown eyes, enigmatic almost-smiles that Jim alone could identify- he found himself indulging in these smiles frequently, wearing them like a badge of honour whenever he could incite them. Spock's incredible mind and charming personality- to those who were privileged enough to experience it- had captivated and enthralled him from the earliest days of their friendship. It didn't take much for Jim, being the genius that he was, to finally add up all these factors and realise he was in love with Spock and had been for some time.

His physical awareness of Spock had increased exponentially after this realisation, his admittance of his feelings to himself had opened not only the door to deep emotion and feeling, but deep and primitive lust. Every accidental brush of their hands on the bridge, every chess match, and every time Spock came over to talk with him held an electrical charge that Jim found palpable. He wanted Spock like nothing else. He would watch him whenever he was presented with an opportunity, he was delicious and beautiful and Jim wanted to have him.

He had seen Spock in only his uniform trousers on several occasions, or the snug leggings which were regulation for their sparring matches. He was beautiful, defined slender muscles shifting easily beneath his flawless skin; dark hair across his chest and stomach, dark flushed nipples, defined pectorals and abdomen. Jim allowed himself the indulgence of running his hand down his bare chest, imagining it was his first officer's elegant fingers touching him.  
How the hell was he going to get through a week or more of those accidental touches on an even more increased scale? Or worse, Spock holding himself across the room from him, out of reach? Jims hands fell to his sides as he huffed out a breath of frustration, he would just have to take this one day at a time. Spock would heal in no time, he told himself, as he willed away his growing erection and ordered his lights off, ready for a night of presumably restless sleep.

The next morning's alpha shift began as normal, Spocks condition seemed not to present itself, the senior crew appeared to forget their knowledge of it after a few hours of Spocks perfectly standard behaviour. The lack of an episode from his first officer also lulled Jim into a sense of comfort, perhaps this would not be so bad. He thought of their scheduled chess match for later that evening with a warm smile, perhaps he would as usual be able to hide his feelings without any extreme titillation from an unknowing Spock. 

He stood from his seat to sign off on the final documents regarding the findings on Anchiale-7, perusing them quickly before handing the padd back over to Yeoman Rand with a smile, and looking around at his beloved friends,

'Well, it looks like we can finally make a move Mr Sulu, the Anchians have 3 new potential settlements to explore, and we have a whole galaxy to discover. What's say we get outta here? Ahead warp factor 3 helmsman, let's see where the wind may take us.'

'Eye eye captain' Sulu replied with mirth in his eyes, turning to his controls and sharing a smile with Mr Chekov.

'Captain, as I'm sure you are well aware, there is no wind in the vacuum of space. We are propelled via the ships warp core and dilithium crystals, the archaic reference which you make to the earth sea ships of old is perhaps not best suited for use during space travel.' Spock had shifted his chair at his station to face Jim, his brow raised and corners of his lips just barely pulled upwards into a teasing smile, so often directed at his captain. 

'Mr Spock, if you please, I have a matter to discuss with you if you wouldn't mind stepping over to the captain's chair, me hearty' the use of the classic pirate colloquialism earned Jim the raising of both of those pointed brows, and as he turned to sit himself down he couldn't help but chuckle. 

Spock walked over at his usual pace, his stance the picture of an officer with back straight and hands clasped behind his back. However, as he approached the distance from his friend with which they usually conversed he did not stop his advancement, rather closing those final few inches that most would have already considered inappropriate for the commanding officers of a star fleet ship. This put his navel directly in front of Jim's nose, and the heady scent of Spock filled his nostrils. The cool mint of his breath, still tangy from his morning routine, the soft musk of his body, and the delicious warmth he gave off enveloped Jims head in a thick fog and he felt himself reel. He closed his eyes momentarily and felt lust rise into the back of his head, a palpable weight drawing his neck back to beg wordlessly for a kiss. He wanted to reach out his hands and grip Spocks hips, pull him closer to close those final teasing inches and mouth at his tunic, pushing it up with his nose to lick at the exposed skin, lave his tongue over his belly and moan. Run his hands up over Spocks ass and up his back, feel the shoulder blades and delicious muscles move beneath his hands, and pull Spock down to fold against his body and straddle him. Jim felt his cock begin to fill and almost moaned aloud at the mental image he had created, the fog of lust seeming to almost paralyze him, so delicious that pulling out of it seemed painful. After several seconds he felt his head give in to the urge and roll backwards in a frantic hope that Spock would kiss him, slide his tongue into Jim's mouth and give him what he desperately wanted. Somewhere inside Jim's mind however there seemed to be a semblance of logic and awareness, and this pulled his eyes open. Jim quickly forced his hands back down onto the armrests of his chair away from the journey towards Spocks hips they had unconsciously begun to make. He could only hope Spock had not noticed, he was clearly experiencing what he and McCoy had deemed an "episode" or he would have never stepped so far into his Captains "personal space". 

He looked up into Spocks delicious brown eyes and swallowed his lust down, his cock had not fully filled out and so he could assume that that at least had remained hidden from his first officer. 

'Captain, what was the matter that you wished to discuss?' the usual cool tone which Spock used proved that Jim's internal struggle had gone unnoticed, and he pushed down the rising fear that had mingled with the heavy weight of want in his skull. 

'Mr Spock' Jim swallowed as Spock shifted his weight between his feet and leaned his face down closer to Jim in his usual way, 'I wanted to confirm our chess match this evening in my quarters, would you still like to attend?'

'Of course, Captain', Spock nodded sincerely, 'I am looking forward to it, as we held our last match in my quarters I assume that tonight will take place in yours?' 

"Indeed Mr Spock, if that is alright with you?'

'That would be most amiable to me Captain, shall we say 20:00 hours as per our normal arrangement? I have no other matters to attend to tonight due to my reduced workload, and so there will be no delays to my attendance.'

'Perfect, see you then' Jim smiled up into the face of his friend, who nodded softly before turning and heading back to his station. Jim looked around, trying to seem nonchalant about it, assuming that everyone had been glued to their exchange and the distance- or lack thereof- between them, but no one had batted an eyelid. Jim internally chided himself for expecting such childish behaviour from his crew, true they could tease and joke from time to time, but in matters of health and professionalism they could always be trusted to perform impeccably and with the sincerest respect.

He closed his eyes to steady himself and will away the arousal coursing through him, reiterating to himself his earlier thought, how the hell was he going to get through this?


	5. Chess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me a bit of trouble, I've had it pretty much written for a couple of weeks but something wasn't quite right, finally it came to me! Sorry about the wait.
> 
> Hope you enjoy xxx

Jim spent the few hours after his shift finishing some reports Scotty had sent over to him that morning, and generally tidying up his quarters. Usually, Jim was a pretty tidy guy but when Spock came over he liked to make sure it was up to "Spock" standards. Which usually meant actually putting away his slowly growing pile of clean and folded laundry that lived on his rarely used desk chair. Jim preferred to do paperwork lying on his bed, sure the Captain's chair on the bridge was his rightful place, but damn if it didn't get a little uncomfortable after a whole shift sat in it.

He had set up the chess board and its pieces on the table in the main section of his quarters ready for their game, showered (the classic water-based kind, to sooth his back muscles after sitting in said chair all day), and was now clad in some loose grey joggers and a soft grey jumper. He was barefoot and had combed his damp hair back off his face to air-dry, he felt very relaxed and content as he lay sprawled upon the sofa near the table waiting for Spocks arrival through their shared bathroom, which they had long since begun to use when visiting each other. Indeed, actually using the main doors to either of their quarters seemed all too formal nowadays.

Jim heard the soft but distinct 3 knocks on the pane of translucent plastic that separated his quarters from the bathroom, and called aloud for Spock to enter,  
'Come on in, Spock'. The door slid open easily and revealed Mr Spock in equally casual attire. He was clad in black loose trousers, made of a soft jersey fabric, and a long sleeved white thermal t-shirt. He too was barefoot. Jim smiled softly at his friend, a warm glow of affection running through him at the knowledge that Spock never donned such casual attire around any other member of the crew, Jim was the only one to ever see Spock in anything other than his immaculately arranged uniform or his always elegant civvies. Spock had evidently shaved earlier, the skin around his chin and jaw glistened with the slick of moisturiser that Jim could smell as Spock came closer to him, it smelled clean and fresh, almost minty. Jim swung his legs over the side of the couch and clasped his hand onto Spocks forearm,  
'Ready to get beat?'  
'Jim, with all due respect, I am sure that you recall the outcome of our last 4 matches, all of which I have won. I believe it is you who should steel yourself to losing.' The corners of Spocks mouth twitched up as he spoke, raising an eyebrow at Jim before turning and leading the way to their usual seats either side of the small table.

The match got underway smoothly as usual, Jim and Spock interspersed their moves with light talk of the earlier shifts' events, upcoming rotas that needed to be drawn up, and general chatter. Their camaraderie and easy companionship allowing both men to delve in and out of comfortable silence without worry.  
Jim took an opportunity when Spock was particularly absorbed in contemplating a move to sweep his eyes over the beautiful man before him. He roamed over Spocks jaw, greedily staring at the dewy residue left over his skin from his shave, how he wished to lick at the corner of Spocks mouth and taste it. Spock shifted forwards slightly to move a rook, and Jims eyes were dragged down to watch his shoulders move beneath the fabric that clung tightly to his skin. Watching the muscles shift and taking in the rise and fall of his chest as he drew in breath and exhaled.  
'Your move, Jim' the sound of his name snapped his focus back up to Spocks face, locking their eyes Jim thought to himself how stunning those dark eyes were, and how he would love to see them darker still, with a different kind of playful glint within them.

'How are you feeling?' Jim asked, considering his next move, gaze roaming over the board slowly, Spock really had played a fantastic move.

'I am fine thankyou Jim, if you are referring to my ongoing injury I believe that I am already in the process of healing well and hope to cease experiencing these impractical side effects quite soon.'

'I'm happy to hear it'

'Though Captain, Lieutenant Uhura has informed me that I perhaps overstepped your personal boundaries during this afternoon's shift. I believe this was due to my injury, I can only apologise, I was not aware at the time that I was 'invading your space' as Nyota put it, I regret that I may have made you feel uncomfortable, I am sorry Jim.'

Jim looked over to his friend steadily and waited for him to raise his bowed head and meet his gaze, 'Spock, there is nothing to apologise for, you know me, I'm a pretty tactile guy, and you're my best friend, you could never overstep any boundary, physical or emotional. Don't worry about it' He smiled softly at Spock, who returned a small smile and nodded to Jim with relief in his eyes. Jim made his move, a pretty bad one by his standards but he had had to move something, he slid one of his pawns forward one square, achieving nothing. He only hoped the useless manoeuvre would cause Spock to overthink Jim's supposed strategy and throw him off his game.

'Oh and Spock,' Jim looked across to his companion and smiled smugly to complement his poker face, earning him another quirked eyebrow from the beautiful man. 'Stop calling me captain when we're off duty, it's Jim. How many times do I have to tell you?' Jim shook his head in mirth, his eyes creasing up in the most handsome way as he smiled.

'Jim, your strategy during our matches never ceases to fascinate me'

Jim didn't miss the use of his name, and a jolt of delight ran through his body, 'Fascinate you, Spock, my word that is indeed a high complement'

'I never specified whether my fascination was from a positive perspective Jim, merely that your action was unexpected.'

'Allow me my fantasies will you Spock' Jim laughed, his chuckles shaking his shoulders and creasing his eyes up while he watched Spock full on smile. Spock never smiled openly with anyone else, and Jim loved it. It lit him up inside like a fire, full of hope and affection.

Spocks smile abruptly faltered, and Jims eyes flicked to see Spocks own crease close in pain. He watched with confusion as Spock physically shut down, recoiling into himself in his seat. Panic flashed through Jim's chest, he rushed forwards around the table and hovered his hands over Spocks shoulders, afraid the contact would worsen his friends' condition,  
'What is it Spock?!' 

'I.. I feel ill at ease, isolated from you despite knowing that you are with me inside this room. It is most illogical. I feel fear Jim, as well as a strong sense of dizziness, I dare not open my eyes as it may worsen my nausea'.

Jim threw caution to the wind and allowed his hands to rest on Spocks shoulders through his shirt. Spock seemed to relax ever so slightly into the touch, his facial muscles smoothing out, before his brows again furrowed. Jim knew he was struggling with something internally, something he didn't want to say,  
'Spock tell me what you're thinking, I know you, what is it?'

'Jim', he exhaled and inhaled again sharply, Jim knew he was trying to breathe through the nausea.  
'If it would be agreeable to you, I find your touch sooths my discomfort, if it would not press your personal boundaries, please, I believe that skin- on- skin contact would be beneficial to me'.

'Of course Spock', Jim knelt and hooked his fingers under the collar of Spocks shirt, splaying them out and fanning them over the skin of his collarbones and shoulders, he felt Spock lean into the touch and sigh softly.

'Thank you Jim, this.. this is indeed soothing' his head dipped forward ever so slightly in exhaustion and relief, his forehead coming to rest unknowingly against Jims own.  
Jim felt a flash of something, joy, gratitude, something warm. His eyes fell closed,  
'Spock' he whispered, unaware of having done so until it was already out of his mouth. Jim began to rub the pads of his thumbs in small circles, kneading into Spocks collarbones, 'Thank you Jim' Spock breathed, resting his palms against Jims chest. 

Neither of them seemed aware of their surroundings, calm and still and in a sort of trance. Jim felt his pulse in his fingertips against Spocks cool skin, what he wouldn't give to touch Spock like this always. They stayed like that for some time, Jim feeling Spocks body gradually relax with every minute, and through their touch he felt as Spocks mental anguish ebbed away.

After some time Spock pulled away awkwardly, bashful, raising himself up briskly and apologising for his disruption to their game. Jim raised himself and began to advance towards him, wanting to reach out and touch his arm to dismiss Spock's worries,  
'Spock it's completely fine, it's only been 2 days, please, stay'

'Thank you Jim, but I believe I should rest, in order to promote healing and fully recover from this evening's episode. May we continue our game next week?'

'Of course'

'Very well, Goodnight' Spock was out of the door before Jim could take another step.


	6. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get a glimpse inside Spocks mind.

Spock had exited through their shared bathroom, moving as quickly as he could stand to without breaking into a run. His heart was heaving in his side and he could feel how moist his neck, back and palms had become. He had not prepared himself for the physical changes Jim provoked in him, though he could not have known that he would experience another episode. It did no good to live in fear of them, but nothing could have warned him that Jim would share such close proximity, such body heat and tenderness with him. His blood hammered through his body and thrummed in his ears, his mind was racing and he felt the flush surely tinting his cheeks a vivid green.

He slammed his back against the bulkhead, closed his eyes and willed himself to breathe normally, to regain control of his emotions and their physical manifestations. Having a human side could be so troublesome, however he did not curse his possession of it, he knew it held him closer to Jim. His human emotions; his stubbornness and passion, the deep-seated anger and helplessness he harboured over his heritage as the only Vulcan- Human hybrid in existence, he knew they were fierce and hard to control, however the quiet and seemingly dormant emotions of Vulcan-kind were stronger than anyone could know. Vulcans felt deeply and with great force, they just held it in check a lot better. This incredible combination made Spock a beautifully passionate man, however it also left him in constant struggle to control said emotions, as his Vulcan heritage had taught him to do. 

Jim was the catalyst to almost every emotional upheaval Spock had experienced in recent years. The force of his feelings, the depth and strength that they had grown to since knowing him was such that Spock had at first been afraid, however in time through meditation and the self-understanding that had flowered in him, he drew his strength and comfort from them. He knew he was in love with the Captain.

Since his injury Spock had stubbornly supressed a flighty terror, a fear that he would unknowingly give away his feelings to Jim, or indeed to another crewman. Logic told him he could not control such possibilities, and so he stamped it down and vowed to behave in his normal manner. He did not know if the Captain returned such feelings for him, however he seemed to continuously find an excuse not to broach the subject. Indeed, his fear of losing the man he loved and respected as a friend and companion due to such unprofessional feelings was a fear he could not, despite all of his efforts, ignore.

Jim was a fierce friend, they were effortless in their companionship and their command of the Enterprise, they could read each other flawlessly, communicate with only a glance or through body language. Spock knew theirs was a friendship rare in all the universe, and it was confirmed infinitely for him every time they shared their minds. Jim’s mind was fluid to him, he joined and moved within it as if it were his own, it was intoxicating to Spock. On Vulcan, he had learned of the rarity of such a connection, Jim was his T’hy’la.   
Friend. Brother. Lover.

After his fall on Anchiale -7 he remembered very little, only pain, and a half-obscured image of Jim through the thick smear of his own blood. Though he had not engaged in a meld with Jim in that moment, he had felt a push at the peripheral of his mind, in his haze he had succumbed to the rare sensation and heard Jim’s voice, “please Spock… please hold on”.  
It wasn’t until he came to himself in sick bay that he could comprehend the impossibility of what had happened. Jim, a psi null, had projected his thoughts into Spocks mind. Spock had accredited it to their T’hy’la link, strong despite not yet having formed into a solid bond, that required the permission of both parties and the reciprocation of his feelings for Jim. However Spock was no fool, he knew how perfectly they worked together, their minds were reaching out for one another in anticipation of a bond that Spock so desperately needed and Jim was unconscious of. This had planted a seed in Spock that perhaps Jim did return his feelings, nothing but a deep need for the other person could have fuelled his mind to reach outside of itself to Spock, he was now daring to hope.

Upon waking after his accident in sick bay, the weak meld they had shared had soothed him immeasurably, until it gave way to the first ‘episode’ induced by his brain injury. True fear, to have been so far from Jim. Separated so wholly. It had made him feel nauseous and fragile, he had been frightened to his core. After he had had a chance to stabilise and return to consciousness Jim’s hand on his shoulder had allowed him to feel the projection of his emotions, and the pure warmth and joy that emanated from him had eased the fear inside Spock.

Tonight, the sight of Jim in his casual attire, so soft, golden and glowing. He was like the sun; Spock found that he orbited him as one, he had shaped his life around his captain since knowing him and knew that to be at Jim’s side was his calling and his greatest joy.   
He loved to be in Jim’s company, having an evening off to play chess was one of his greatest delights, and in this trying time due to his injury he had looked forward to it intensely. To have it ruined by such a strong episode of disorientation angered him greatly, however he could now focus only on the physical joys he had been able to experience because of it. Jim’s fingers on his collarbones, the relief that his touch had brought him, washing away the pain and fear like sunlight. His body heat, it emanated from his entire person, grounding Spock and helping him through the nausea. After some time the symptoms had faded and he found himself wholly aware of their proximity, Jim’s hands on his bare skin and their foreheads touching. It was so much, so good, he couldn’t allow himself to indulge in it without Jim knowing of his feelings. He had excused himself swiftly, intending to meditate on his feelings and what to do. However since he had entered his own quarters and tried to steady himself to meditate, unsurprisingly, his mind had thought of nothing but Jim.

He inhaled deeply and allowed his body to slide down the bulkhead and rest on the ground, he knees bent against his torso as he laid his head back against the cool metal, its’ surface unpleasant against the damp fabric of his shirt. Opening his eyes he reached out to light his incense, and pulled his legs into a cross-legged position. He shut his eyes determinedly and whispered the first words of his chosen meditation mantra softly to himself before focusing all of his energy on clearing his mind, it proved to take much, much longer than usual.


	7. Turbolift

Jim had lay awake for several hours that night, playing over the evening in his head, particularly the beautiful minutes he had spent touching the bare skin of his first officer. Jim had felt something physical pass between his fingertips and the skin of Spocks chest, a thrum, something less than a vibration but still undoubtedly there. He was sure it had to do with Spocks telepathic abilities and their affinity for communicating so easily whenever they melded with each other, but he didn’t know enough about it to explain how he felt. Everything he had ever learned about Spocks telepathy he had learned through feeling, through touching him, physically or mentally, and Jim didn’t have to be a telepath or a genius to figure out that something between them just clicked, and that’s why they worked so well together.

When he had finally fallen asleep his dreams had been hazy and half formed, Spock the only constant in a chameleon landscape filled with grey curving corridors, the sun starved plains of what he had assumed was home, and the shining lights of the stars. He awoke to a melancholy longing that occasionally swelled within him to a painful level, and that he had learned to supress; God he wanted Spock. 

Walking onto the bridge he tried and failed to quell his instinctive glace towards Spocks station, he was there as usual, eyes trained on his scanners and enthralled in something. Jim felt a sharp stab of pain through his chest. He loved the man and wanted to stride over and show him, take him for his own, complete this unspoken whatever they were; and the throb in his chest almost led him over to the science station. Unfortunately his brain reminded him he that was the captain of the U.S.S Enterprise and he had just walked onto the bridge for his shift, not to mention the fact that his first officer may not reciprocate his feelings, in which case he would be so fundamentally broken that he would cease to function right there and then.

He turned his attention to his helmsman and navigator, they were headed for Starbase 146, a well established base that specialised in goods and commercial trade. It was essentially a glorified wholesale market and was extremely popular with all member planets of the federation, you could pick up anything from celestion healing crystals to parts for Talosian androids. Their mission was to pick up a large supply of state-of-the-art computer and padd systems and transport them back to Starfleet command on Earth, they were to be used to assist the newest generation of Starfleet officers in their studies, and the Enterprise crew were excited by the promise of a week’s shore leave on what many of the crew called their home planet once they had completed the mission.

Jim’s shift passed agonisingly slow, incredibly routine considering the course for the starbase had already been laid in the night before once the orders had been received by gamma shift, so the Enterprise basically ran itself. Everyone was busy with the routine paperwork that they all had to sift through when they weren’t in mortal peril, and Jim’s perusal and occasional signing of his reports proved even more tedious while trying to stifle his constant compulsion to look over at Spock. To add insult to injury, every time he did allow himself a glance, Spock was never looking back at him, in fact no matter where on the bridge Spock moved or what he was engaged in he never came within 5 feet of the captain’s chair. This was highly unusual behaviour considering their closeness, in both their working and personal relationships. Jim, and everyone else on the bridge for that matter, knew Spock was avoiding him and it stung. The shift ended with Spock beelining for the turbolift faster than anyone had seen him move in weeks, and Jim left spinning in his chair to offer him a light-hearted remark in desperate hope of breaking the tension and instead barely catching a glimpse of the blue and black blur.

The next 2 days passed incredibly slowly. Jim’s mood becoming more sour with every hour that Spock avoided him, and his thoughts more sullen. What had he done to upset Spock? He had raked through every detail of their chess night with great care, savouring the lovely personal joys and grimacing whenever he thought up a new reason that might have sparked Spocks displeasure. Had he gone too far with his touch, made Spock feel uncomfortable around him? He blanched when he considered that he might have given himself away with his willingness and surely obvious delight of sharing bare skin with his first officer. But then he was incredibly tactile, everyone knew it, and it had never bothered Spock before, he had even asked for it.

The only small joy Jim had received in the 48 hours since their last shared shift was the news that Spocks episode’s were decreasing steadily, and Bones seemed to surmise from Spocks ‘indecent rate of healing and stubborn refusal to submit to medical observations’ that his initial diagnosis of a 10 day healing time-frame might’ve been an overestimate by several days. Had hadn’t seen Spock at all since his quick escape, as their shift patterns hadn’t aligned. This left Jim to stew in his misery and worry, counting the minutes until his next shift with Spock, which was scheduled for the following evening. 

Rather than enjoying his day off shift as he would usually be doing, he had become increasingly more agitated, laying on the couch in his quarters berating himself for any number of mistakes he may have made with Spock. He threw on a worn academy sweatshirt and some grey sweatpants and found himself wandering the halls of his ship with no real destination in mind. He always found that the thrum of her engines and the familiarity of his home away from home could aid him in times of stress or uncertainty, and his current circumstances certainly fit those descriptions. The passing stars he would glimpse out of the view screens and windows that scattered the halls served to calm him further, but he couldn’t shake the cloak of disquiet that clinged stubbornly to him. After about an hours time he found that he could reap no more benefit from his beloved ship, thoughts of his first officer were forefront in his mind and he would have to accept that until they could talk it out. He resigned himself to a night of wallowing in self pity in his quarters and headed for the central turbolift. 

Jim almost faltered after looking up once the doors had opened. Spock was the sole passenger inside, stood at parade rest as usual in his uniform, no doubt having finished his shift but still in his ever-perfect posture. Jesus he was gorgeous. Their eyes met and Jim saw Spocks miniscule movement at his sharp intake of breath, trying to hide his shock at seeing him. He forced a smile and nodded, walking into the lift and taking his usual stance next to his first officer, they were both facing the now closed doors, Jim scowled. He hated this, Spock couldn’t be broadcasting anxiety more, though Jim knew that no one else would ever see or feel it in his face or his demeanour. 

‘Spock, I heard you’re feeling better?’ he felt compelled to say _something _. His body was screaming to touch the man next to him and seek comfort, to eradicate the anxious and miserable pall that had fallen between them.__

__‘Yes Captain that is accurate, my injury seems to be almost fully healed, I believe another full night of sleep should be sufficient for my body to finish repairing the damaged tissue.’ Spock avoided turning to look at Jim, instead fixing his eyes on a point in front of him, he seemed stiffer even than usual. His voice took on the robotic monotone that he used when seriously trying to control his emotional state. Jim felt sick._ _

‘Oh that’s…’ he felt a stab of pain in his stomach, ‘that’s great’ he reached out his right hand to brace himself against the wall, his body seemed determined to betray his inner turmoil. Not looking at what he was doing his hand bumped against Spocks, grazing his wrist behind his back. 

Both men gasped in unison, Jim felt an overwhelming rush of anxiety, terror, hope, desperation, and something that threatened to consume him, and he wanted it to. Unbeknownst to him he let out a choking sob, the onslaught of emotional transference proving too much for his body as his knees started to give way under him. Spock’s hands abruptly flew to Jim’s sides, supporting him and pushing him gently back against the wall of the turbolift. 

__‘Jim.’ Spock looked into Jim’s eyes with an expression that was unfathomable, his touch was incredibly gentle and the strange anxiety between them had fallen away at their brief touch. They both felt the gradual slowing of the turbolift as it came to its destination on the floor that housed their quarters._ _

__Spock gave Jim a look that said ‘can you stand?’ Jim nodded and recovered himself as best he could, internally reeling. Mercifully the corridor was empty when the lift doors opened, and he followed Spock wordlessly to his own quarters. When the door had shut behind him Spock told the computer to lock the door under his command._ _

__He turned to face Jim, though he did not close the distance between them._ _

__‘Jim, are you alright?’_ _

__‘I… I don’t know’ he broke away from Spocks glance and looked at the floor, he felt through the emotions that had passed from Spock to him merely moments before, felt his chest grow tight._ _

__He looked again at the man before him and saw fear and hope, Spock had taken a half step towards him, his stance had relaxed slightly but Jim could read the fear in his eyes. Jim reached out and grabbed Spocks forearm, Spocks eyes fluttered closed at the contact and he took in a shaking breath._ _

__‘Spock’_ _

__Spock’s eyes opened, tentative but hopeful, he was shocked to see tears in Jims eyes,_ _

__‘Spock… I…’ Jim faltered, his eyes flickered between Spocks until he seemed to lose his nerve and recoil back into himself, Spock felt Jims grip loosen on his arm and panicked, he wouldn’t let Jim shut down now. He surged forward, cupping the back of Jims neck and pulling him into a tight hug. He felt Jim immediately let out a shuddering breath and felt his chest give as he began to sob. They seemed to slide to their knees on the ground in unison, Spock still holding Jim tight as his arms looped around Spocks waist, holding onto his warmth and soaking it in. Jim felt such relief at being embraced, being accepted and protected, he couldn’t control the emotion he felt._ _

__‘Spock, please’ Jim reached out with his mind with all the will he could muster, he imagined allowing his consciousness to seep through the skin where Spock held his neck into his fingers, up his arm and into his core. Into his mind, his consciousness, he wanted to feel Spock, wanted Spock to feel him. He wanted to communicate and feel and know and be without words, because the two of them had never needed words, not really._ _

__Spock felt the push of something against his mind, it was a tangible presence, a strong force though raw and undisciplined, it glowed golden in his minds eye, this whisping fluid force, he realised it was Jim. He was awed, this was impossible._ _

__‘Jim… what?’_ _

__‘Meld with me, please’ it was a desperate plea, both their eyes were closed as they focussed on Jims consciousness desperately trying to make contact with Spocks._ _

__Spock raised his left hand from around Jims shoulder and placed it seamlessly against his face, soft and caressing. He didn’t need to speak the mantra, the meld was initiated the second his fingers made contact, it was like static jumping from Jim’s skin into his._ _

__Jim flooded into Spocks mind instantaneously, it was sublime, beautiful, erotic and immaculate. Spock let out something between a broken breath and a moan. He had never felt so intoxicated in his life._ _

__Jim too felt incredible relief, pleasure and fulfilment, he let out another sob as they made contact and the world inside his mind exponentially grew. They both knew something had fundamentally changed. No meld they had had before could compare to this._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter ends somewhat abruptly, but it's because the next one is going to lead into full on smut- you're welcome :p - which I wanted to contain in its own chapter to begin with. Also the length of this one was growing and growing and I wanted to keep the chapter lengths reasonably consistent. Also, It gives you something to look forward to :p
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut Smut Smut.

Spock reeled as the sensations flowed through him, he felt high. He felt Jim flash with arousal at the guttural sound he had made and felt a mirrored sensation run from his core to his cock, he knew Jim had felt his reaction too when he heard him gasp. Spock opened his eyes and willed Jim to do the same, he drank in the man before him, the flushed cheeks from both his emotional upheaval and his arousal, the dilated pupils, the lids sitting heavy upon his eyes as he knew his own must be doing. He found himself staring at Jims plump lower lip and his grip on his neck tightened ever so slightly, he felt the answering wave of lust and pulled Jim to him as he kissed him. They both groaned shamelessly into each others mouths as Spock slid his tongue against Jims.

Spock slid his free hand under Jims ass and hauled him forwards so he was straddling him. Jim felt the erection push against the skin behind his balls and moaned, rocking forward to give Spock some friction. This only served to drive Spock past the point of patience, he sent his wishes across the meld and was answered with enthusiasm. He slid his fingers from Jims face, the intensity of the meld faded away but the thrum of their connection still held strong through their skin. Spocks hands gripped either side of the groin of Jims sweatpants and the boxers beneath, and he tore straight down the fly. He kept tearing until Jims engorged penis and balls were free, then he rolled Jims balls in his left hand, brought his right up to his own mouth and licked saliva onto his palm, and gripped the shaft of Jims penis and started a slow shallow pumping. 

‘Fuckkkk Spock.’ Jims head fell back and his left hand flew to wind in Spocks hair, while his right pushed up his sweatshirt and exposed his naked stomach beneath, Spock leaned closer and licked the skin around Jims navel, getting off on the taste of his sweat and the brush of the fine hairs against his cheek. Jim twisted and writhed in Spocks lap, trying to expose more of his chest. Spock rocked forward at the sight and was rewarded with a perfect slide of his cock between Jims ass cheeks. He slid his face up Jims chest, the soft fabric of his sweatshirt bunching over his eyes, and with his lips he found Jims nipple and flicked it with his tongue, grazing his teeth over it and hearing Jim whine, feeling his body shudder and his cock pulse between his fingers.

‘Spock, I wanna feel you, take your pants off for fucks sake, please’

Jims statement was paired with a flush of pure want through their skin, Spock caught a flash of an image from Jim, Jim writhing on top of him, his own cock flush inside Jim and all sense gone from his lover. Spock moaned at the idea of coaxing Jim to incoherency and promptly rose to his feet, holding Jim still straddled around him. He let go of Jims cock to reach around his ass and support him, walking the few steps to Jims bed and roughly throwing him down onto it. Spock remained standing, drinking in the sight of his Captain spread legged beneath him, chest half exposed and mottled pink, a sheen of sweat pooling in his navel, and his eyes half lidded. He undid his trousers and pushed them down with his boxers to pool at his feet, Jim moaned and bucked his hips into the air as he watched Spocks thick cock slide free, flushed a dark green and leaking precum. Spock took two steps to stand at the foot of the bed and Jim surged forwards, his fingers encircling Spocks hip on one side and the shaft of his cock with the other, and started tonguing at his balls.  
A low growl rumbled in Spocks chest as Jim began pumping him softly, 

‘Jim’ he moaned aloud, coaxing his Captain to slide his tongue along the length of his dick and take it slowly into his mouth, covering it with saliva and enjoying the sensation when his mouth was filled with Spock. Jims head was swimming with pleasure, his own and the thrum of Spocks through their bodily contact. He slid his hand around to cup Spocks ass and glanced up towards his face. He let out a moan at the sight of his first officer head thrown forwards, eyes closed and fluttering ever so slightly, mouth open and a gorgeous green blush creeping over his cheeks, ears and chest. His chest rose and fell with rapidity, panting. Jim pulled Spock forward with the grip on his ass, coaxing him into fucking his mouth and was rewarded with a furrowing of those beautiful eyebrows and a whine of his name. He felt his own cock throb and snaked his fingers up Spocks chest and under his shirt to rub over his nipples. 

Spocks legs began to shake, his eyes opened a fraction and Jim was greedy to drink in the haziness there, the pupils blown wide and the long lashes hanging over the deep brown of the irises. Spocks hand came up to card through Jims hair, bucking his hips against Jims tongue and panting, he let his fingers slide against Jims psi points and initiated the meld, Jims cock throbbed again and leaked a droplet of precum as he felt the full effect of his attentions upon his lover. He pulled back and let Spocks cock fall from his mouth, 

‘Holy fuck Spock, I can’t touch enough of you, I need more’

Spock’s demeanour suddenly shifted, he seemed more focussed yet somehow hesitant, 

‘What is it Spock? What’s wrong’

‘I… I feel so strongly I am afraid to show you. I cannot control my emotions’

‘I don’t want you to, show me, you can’t scare me Spock’ Jim smirked up into the face of his lover, a glint in his eye. The smirk fell abruptly from his lips as Spocks voice filled his head over the bond,

‘I wish to CONSUME you’ the phrase was accompanied by several half formed images of Spock fucking him in various ways, teasing him, fingering him and eating him out. Jim’s breath caught at the display, he was innately aware that Spock had gotten off to these images over the course of their mission, he was filled with the want of several years, Spocks lust for him and the almost impossible feat of having to control it. The premise of setting it loose now fuelled the dizzying sexual need that Spock was fighting. Jim replied with fervour,

‘I want it. I want it all. Now.’

Something in Spock snapped at this and Jim was thrust backward into the bedcovers, Spocks mouth on his own and his cock in his fist. He wasn’t teasing now, he was pumping Jim hard, spreading the precum over the head with his clever fingers, Jim began moaning in earnest, writhing beneath the glorious body above him and fucking into Spocks fist, coming closer to orgasm with every second.

‘Jim, you will be mine’ he growled in his ear,

‘Yes, fuckkk… Spock… please’

Jim was a mess, hovering on the edge of orgasm from Spocks relentless pumping, Spock could feel how close he was, he knew it,

‘Spoockk’ He opened his eyes a fraction and caught Spocks own, who was drinking him in greedily, he was bloody stunning and Jim was fucking his fingers and he wanted to do so much more to him and all this knowledge was too much for Jim. His eyes fell shut and his back arched as he bucked blindly into Spocks fist.

He let out an incoherent whine as he finally came, his semen spurting onto Spocks still busy fingers, he had never come so hard in his life. He floated in his ecstasy for a few more seconds before coming to himself, Spocks fingers were slowing their work, letting go of Jims cock and sliding up his body to stroke at his side. Jim could hardly believe how fast he had been brought to orgasm, he hadn’t come so quickly since he was a teenager.

Spock bowed his head to Jims neck, and began kissing and tonguing at it softly, Jim could feel the rapidity both physically and mentally with which Spocks control was leaving him. He had begun the kiss with the intention to be soft and languid after Jims orgasm, but his own need and lust were rising in him profoundly. Spock began to shake with the effort of fighting his need to be rougher, he wanted to drag his teeth across Jim’s collarbone and all manner of other things that he couldn’t seem to decide on. His wants were a fluid kaleidoscope of sexual desires, projected into Jims mind as he conceived of them. Jim, though aware that his body could not achieve an erection so soon after orgasm, was impressed by the flashes of arousal that jerked to his cock throughout Spocks ministrations.

‘Spock, stop holding back, I’m here, I want you’ he pushed his affections and desires through their skin contact, hoping to God that Spock could receive them, and was rewarded with an ardent moan that rumbled from Spocks chest. Spock abruptly leaned back, hauled his shirt up over his head roughly, tearing it in the process before flinging it across the room, and brought his shaking hand up to Jim’s psi points, eyes closed.

The connection was instantly kindled again, breathtakingly strong, and Jim was struck with the force of Spocks aching want and the throbbing of his cock, 

‘Jim, please touch me again’ he begged, moaning incoherently once the words were out, unable to cope with the strength of his physical sensations. He rocked forward to rut his cock against Jims hip, his body stuttering as it brushed against Jims warm skin. Jims own cock began to twitch at the mirrored sensations that flowed into him on the contact, and he groaned in earnest.

‘Jesus fuck, Spock’ Jims hand slid up to cup Spocks fingers and slide them down into his mouth, the connection slid back to its weaker form but he could still feel Spocks desire as if it were his own. He pushed himself onto his knees and abruptly encircled Spocks waist to flip them around, he was straddling Spock and hovering over his pliant body in seconds, sucking off his index and middle fingers while rubbing his thumb over the palm of his hand. Spock’s breath hitched and his eyes opened heavily, half lidded and staring up at Jim darkly, unfocussed. 

Jim pulled off the elegant digits momentarily and brought his free hand up to join his other in massaging and stroking the palm and each finger of his first officer,

‘You like that don’t you, I saw it in your head, you’ve wanted my tongue on your fingers for years. Wanted me to suck them so slowly, you could come from just this couldn’t you?’ He sucked the two fingers into his mouth again up to the first joint, Spocks eyes snapped shut, his back arched and his head sunk further into the bed, a barely audible whine slid from his mouth. Jim opened his mouth around his fingers to speak again, letting his saliva pool around them and spill in rivulets over his swollen lips, 

‘Couldn’t you Spock?’

He slid them in up to the next knuckle, flicking the tip of his tongue along the underside of the trembling digits,

‘Y…yes’ 

Jim smirked around the cool fingers and pushed them in the whole way, laving the tip of his tongue over the skin where they joined and tonging it suggestively. Then he slid his tongue back under their length and started to suck hard and slow, fighting his gag reflex so Spock would feel the muscles in the top of his throat tighten again the tips, and simultaneously Jim rocked his hips so that their cocks slid together softly, his own cock stiffening again. 

Spock let out a desperate whine that went straight to Jims dick, and his right hand flew to encircle them both and begin pumping them together. Spock looked ruined beneath him, glistening with sweat, body arched and writhing desperately. He kept opening his eyes to catch glimpses of Jim but faltering with every jolt of pleasure Jim wrought from his body. Jim could feel through their connection that Spock had never felt so much physical stimuli, either in strength or in number and it was driving him to the edge of what he could bare, and he was fucking loving it. His control was in shreds and he was aware of nothing but Jim and his body and his mind and the pleasure that he was giving him. It was glorious.

Jim slid the remnants of his own come and the precome leaking from both their heads along their cocks with his thumb, before setting a quick, unrelenting rhythm as Spock had done for him. Spock had waited long enough and Jim wanted to make him come undone, he continued sucking off Spocks fingers as he pumped them, aware of both his own rising pleasure and Spocks, who was almost on the edge of orgasm, his breath came in shallow pants as he pushed his cock up into Jims hand.

‘Jim.. _pleaasse _Jim’ his mouth fell open as he panted and fucked into Jims hand, Jim moaned around Spocks fingers at his begging, and thrust into his own hand against Spocks cock in desperation. He felt it as they hit the cusp of Spocks orgasm, just hovering there, Jims hand faltered as he felt the echo of Spocks pleasure and desperation,__

___‘Jim’ _Spock pleaded, and Jim fucked against Spock into his own hand, hard; delirious and moaning senselessly around those fucking delicious fingers in his mouth. He felt it when Spocks orgasm hit, Spock moaned silently beneath him, his gorgeous mouth agape as his body convulsed with pleasure. His come flowed over Jims fingers, and the sensation was so filthy and beautiful that Jim came hard when he felt it, having been so close and unable to even breathe or move as he had felt the full force of Spocks orgasm hit him.___ _

____He pumped them hard as they came, feeling through their connection that it heightened Spocks orgasm, and knowing from experience that he preferred it the same way. He felt Spocks fingers fall from his mouth and bowed his head to rest on his chest as they shuddered through the final pulses of pleasure. Feeling the dark hair against his cheek ground him, he found Spocks arms with his hands and grasped them solidly, panting against his chest._ _ _ _

____‘Holy fuck.’ He breathed against the sweat slicked skin._ _ _ _


End file.
